And she was generally hopeful about the recovery process. After the ICU area became out of bounds for us, we had our dinner and trudged back to the guest house. I was determined not to repeat the previous day’s faux pas. I asked her to try and sleep. But she could not. She was in an unusually pensive frame of mind. She mentioned that the fact that Peter had to be on oxygen off and on meant that he was not improving sufficiently well. I was also rattled. I could not sleep after that. As for her, sheer weight of her physical and mental fatigue sent her into an uneasy sleep. When she woke up for a moment at about 3 am, I spoke about what I had been thinking about the oxygen supply. I argued that the purpose of oxygen was to increase its content in the blood which was being pumped at sub-optimal level by an ailing heart. In the absence of such a supply, the heart would be constrained to work harderfor the same quantity of oxygen in blood. So, artificial supply of oxygen was intended to. It's the logical next step, but the idea horrifies me. It wouldmean losing the last miserable vestige of the man I once was. I would,finally, be utterly lost to myself. Yet there would surely be advantages.Dave would have another hole to fuck me in. Maybe my poor, abused arseholecould take a rest after all these years. And maybe Dave will fuck me fromin front more often if he doesn't have to look at my penis. I do so love towatch as he plunges into me. But my opinion will make no difference. IfDave wants it, and I know he does, it will happen sometime, probably soon.I have no choice. There's nothing I can do.Now I am sitting in the living room the next day, waiting for Dave to comehome. When I got back from work I got half way through preparing dinnerbefore I remembered that Dave is having a night out with colleagues and sodoesn't need feeding. Normally the only thing that gets me through the dayis thinking about the blowjob I can give him when he gets back from his.
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