He had just asked if I was interested in fucking. I knew that if I went with him, I would be in some major trouble with the family. But Josh had just fucked someone outside the family, and right in front of me and a bunch of other people. I thought about how Daddy would react if I were to go off and let a total stranger fuck me. How would Josh feel? But then I thought about what I wanted, and I knew that I wanted his big black cock between my legs. If it was alright for Josh to fuck Kit without asking me, then why couldn't I fuck this guy? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? Before I thought too much more about it, I picked up my drink, turned to JT, and said, "I already have a drink. Let's go."I didn't say anything to anyone, but just walked out the door with JT. We took the elevator up to 410, and walked in. I had some butterflies, but once inside the large suite, I downed my drink, and turned to him. I had heard all the usual stories about how blacks fucked,. . I was sad I'd never had a visit from Barry after he died; I felt so alone. Then last year, I dreamed of him and his wife, who died a year or so before I met him; they said I would meet my life-mate this year. Tonight I dreamed of them again. Now that I'm with you, they can go on, they said. I'm not sure why I was crying. Perhaps there was more than one reason; that they'll be going completely out of my reach, that my grief and their love for me was holding them back, perhaps just because I have to let go of some of my past. As I said, it's a new start." Our deeds still follow us from afar, and what we have been, makes us what we are." What do you mean, John? That sounds like a quote." So it is; from Middlemarch. Everything we've done and experienced goes to make us the person we are today, shapes the person we are today. Your life with Barry is a part of you; he left a part of himself with you and no-one can take it away. I fell in love with you, though I fought the idea because of.
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