I know I can never escape from this life. What life? My lifeisn't mine anymore. Her control is all I know now. My body isn't even mine. Theyboth do whatever they want to me. On going body modifications have made itimpossible for me to ever pass as a man anymore. What really hurts the mostthough is how defeated I really am. I can't make any decisions on my ownanymore. I do only as I'm told, that means everything but breathe basically. Ihaven't gone to the toilet without permission for over three years. I wouldn'tdare to touch food or water without permission. I'm only allowed to ask forwater, never food. I have no free thought what so ever. I'm safer if I neverthink. I can't function without being told what to do anymore. I'd die withoutthem, just whither and die. The wave or awareness rolls back as quickly as itcame and I'm back into character. Pleasing them is all that matters.I've really got to sell my enthusiasm and I will. I'm giggling like a schoolgirlas I moisten one finger. Then there were more interviews to bring the KCC security staff up to the needs of next year. They were scheduled for four days.The weekend was over way to fast. It was Monday morning; Mark, Lorrie, Marcy and I were boarding the King Air, headed to Lewisburg, Tennessee.Our flight ended at Lewisburg Municipal Airport. We had to rent one of our competitor's cars there. Just to prevent a YouTube moment the pilot was going to rent the car and chaffer us around. Marcy did a tour of the airport making notes and writing down phone numbers.As with all my plans, we arrived early enough to make a tour of the grounds with Cindy's map. We even looked inside any building that was open, including all the dorms. By the time the tour was finished the map was full of notes for us to work with. Marcy was crunching the numbers as usual while Lorrie was putting together the PowerPoint presentation.I sent a picture of the dorm locks to Robert Bradberry so his engineers could evaluate them to see if they.
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