This wasmaddening. But even as flustered as he was, he still had to maintaina calm outward demeanor if he expected to get through this. As he satthere feeling uncomfortable, thoughts of everything that had happenedso far ran through his mind. The suggestions which had been made,that he might not be very manly to begin with, kept repeatingthemselves to him. He smoothed out his dress over his lap andmaintained his prim posture. What if that was true? Were his effortsto internally hold onto his maleness going to prove futile?After ten more minutes, Lavinia informed him where the nearestbathroom was, and cautioned him that he should sit on the commode, asa girl would. Wearing the chastity, he realized, would mean doing itthat way all the time. He gave her a smile of thanks and left theroom, aware of how easily he fell into moving in a feminine way.Having to deal with a dress and panties before he could relievehimself was certainly a new experience. He managed to get through. Somewhere beyond the horizon the river was flowing in a shallow valley, but they wouldn’t make it. They passed a skeleton of a waggon, inside was the skeleton of a person. This was the price of failure, she had buried all the rest of her family (though passing coyotes had swiftly dug into the shallow graves) and then had died herself. Their livestock had probably died, there was no sign of their bones. Without the draught animals they were trapped in the desert and patiently waited for death, with the slight chance of another party passing and rescuing them. It hadn’t happened. This was a time of self-reliance and fatalistic acceptance of God’s judgment.That evening the wind blew from the West. The humans were too dense, too poorly equipped after generations of living in houses, they could not smell the water. The bullocks could. They lowed loudly and strained at their harnesses. Perhaps that had happened to the wagon they had passed. “Quickly now, hitch them to the wagon, they will.
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