Then it started to slowly rotate. The spin was about a horizontal axis, meaning that it looked sort of like a slow moving propeller attached to the backside of the animal. As the tail kept rotating faster and faster, I couldn’t see any reason for it to be doing so. The only thing that came to mind was that it might be using it to fan up some breeze for cooling the rather large, gray anus which was mounted immediately below. The rotational period of that whirling appendage finally leveled off at approximately 100 rpm, a gray blur. This is only a guess, of course, but I considered it quite a feat for an animal so large to get any portion of its anatomy up to a speed like that. As I moved closer for a better look, that huge anus unpuckered, opened, and there was a low whooshing noise as gas was expelled. At this point, it may be wise to point out that hippos are herbivores. As such, they have a very large percentage of bulk in their diet. This bulk consists of undigestible portions. He’s the exact opposite of a pervert. Is there a word for people who are the opposite of a pervert?“You’re right, you know,” I muttered. “There’s no logical reason why I shouldn’t be able to wear an outfit like this in front of you guys without dying of embarrassment.”“I know that. I’m glad that you know it, too.”He smiled at me and his eyes sparkled as if he were trying to stop himself from laughing.“I know this makes me a hypocrite because I’m the one who asked you to wear those things, but I’m going to say it anyway. If you ever even think of stepping outside our front door dressed like that, I’ll tie you up and toss you in a closet myself.”I nodded. I looked down at myself.“I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. I’m having a hard enough time stepping outside my bedroom door.”Dan grinned. “I can help with that.”He walked over to me, picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. I figured out what he was going to do seconds before he did it. Squealing at him didn’t stop.
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