I got your pizza and there ain’t any toppings ... no nothin’ ... it’s like only just bread!” “Please give us your phone number and street address”. “Never mind ... I opened the box upside down!”My neighbour. She’s single. She’s shapely. She’s beautiful and she lives right across the street.I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely. "No problem." I just stopped by to see if I could borrow some milk," he said. "Can you help me with that or should I see Fran in the morning?" I think I can help," I said and stepped back to let him in. He had a plastic cup in his hand which I assumed he wanted to put the milk in. I took it from him and walked into the kitchen. He followed me, and when I turned he was clearly staring at my ass. I opened the refrigerator door bent over further than I needed to, and took out the milk carton. When I turned back around it was again obvious that he had been staring at my ass. There was a bulge in his shorts that hadn't been apparent before.I filled up the glass that I had placed on the counter. I held the glass out to him and he took it, and then he asked, "How old are you?" Old enough," I replied."Damn,' he said, and laughed. "Old enough for what?"I just smiled at him and escorted him back to the door. He turned to me on the way out and eyed me up and down again, said "Damn!" and walked.
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