"Look, Carls, I'm sorry I broke your window." She gives me this funny smile, which I understand because it wasn't a real window and it's such a trite thing to say."It's okay Sam, really. I'm sorry my window broke your hand." And she takes my hurt hand lightly and strokes it with her thumb. And although it hurts like hell, it makes me feel better and I don't want her to stop. And I could let it go there, but that's not who I am. I don't know when to stop."No, really. I'm sorry I got that angry. I'm just glad I didn't hit you!" And although I say it in a joking voice, she flinches, and I realise she thought I was going to. I grab her shoulders, and although I feel my wounds start to open again and scream at me I don't let go. "Carly, I was joking! You know I'd never... I mean I couldn't.... ever hit you. You know that don't you?"And she's trying to shrug it off like it's no big thing, but it's huge. It's huge and terrifying and ripping the shit out of my heart. I scared her. I scared. The wedding isn’t until 1. I said 11 because I didn’t want to drive all the way up from New York.’ ‘That’s OK, I don’t mind’, I answered. ‘I would rather be here than New York!’. Everyone had a laugh over that. ‘I just wish I knew – I would have let you two sleep another couple hours.’ I joked, ‘After all, we could use the rest after last night!’ Maria shifted uncomfortably in her seat. I quickly changed the subject. ‘Mimosa anyone?’ I asked pulling a carafe from the ice bucket. Maria finally gave me a genuine smile. She loved mimosa. ‘Sounds wonderful’, she said. I leaned over and kissed her. ‘Get a room you two. Oh wait, we DID!’ Kathryn joked. We all laughed. ‘Light traffic on Saturday,’ I said, ‘We should have a straight shot up the highway.’ ‘How’s your breakfast?’ I asked Maria. ‘It’s very good,’ she answered as she ate another bite of french toast. ‘How about yours?’ I asked Kathryn. ‘Excellent’, she answered, ‘Thanks for ordering for us. You’re so thoughtful.’ I smiled..
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