Riley is glazed and coughing up blood. I want to tell him everything’s gonna be Ok but it isn’t, but they do good work up at the Royal and I’ve seen these things get fixed in the past. My combats are filthy with blood and fecal matter and bits of bone embedded but I’m too hyped to vomit. I feel so inadequate. Your brain runs all the protocols but in the end you’re just left with a dying man and it’s always your fault. It has to be your fault—that’s what they pay you for. Sirens in the distance. I have Riley taped up – he’s clutching me and wheezing . . . I’m trying to get him into the recovery position without spilling his guts onto the lawn. “Jesus Boss,” he says . . . “Jesus Boss.” “It’s OK sarge. They’ll have you shipped in no time.” I love him. He’s a West Country man – unflappable – he knows how to work the boys – when to hurt them—when to let up – when to diss them – when to drop a kind word in their ears. We’re a group of terminal cynics. We have this constant love-hate. Saffie pulled herself back into Fenella for a hug and more kissing. Zann did the same to Jamila and there was a general move to surround them and kiss and caress them. They were lean and brown and even sexier than I remembered; a fraction taller than Zin, shorter than everyone else.“We brought some fabrics,” Jamila managed to say between kisses, and we all took the hint, left their bodies alone for the moment and moved over to the boxes. The band girls opened them and we transferred the contents onto Lizzie’s big work table.“Oh my god,” Saffie pulled out a length that glittered with gold in among red, green and yellow.“That’s a weave,” said Fenella, “it’s not very stretchy but it’s easy to work with.”“Most of the others are single jersey knits,” added Jamila, “they can stretch one way or both ways, depending, though it can be best to sew with an overlocker...” she looked at the sewing machine, “or a twin needle machine. Most bikinis are knits.”“And then there are different yarns,.
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