I had seen my brothers peepee a couple times when he would run around naked like little boys and girls do sometimes but other than that…nothing. I guess I got started into sexual stuff at about the time I was going into 5th grade. We had just moved into this old house a week or so and I didnt know any of the neighborhood kids too well. My aunt and cousins came right after we moved in to visit for the 4th of July that summer and Arty, my cute boy cousin who was going into 8th grade, was just starting to go through puberty then. Of course at the time I had no idea what that was nor did he. I remember bits and pieces of what was said that weekend. Mostly the parts that confused me and caused me to start wondering about boys. So Arty was my first boy to tease and get started into my life of pleasing men and boys. He was supposed to watch us kids while the grown ups went out drinking that night. I loved being around Arty and had a super crush on him so I was looking forward to being with. I don’t think I knew what real hate meant before I ended up in here. Sure, I knew the general sense, but it turned out I had no idea. What I had experienced in here had shaped the true ugly meaning of that word. Now, I was one of the leading experts on hate.I still had to decide what to do about that damn breakfast. I was so hungry and it looked so delicious that I wanted to puke. It was a Trojan horse, probably laced with drugs most people had never even heard about. Sometimes after he drugged me, I was totally hyper, sometimes I was depressed, sometimes I had panic attacks, sometimes I just fell asleep. He could play me like a piano, using the small chemical plant inside my head.Falling asleep might sound like the best option, but it wasn’t. As soon as I got tired after eating, I knew what was about to come. I fought sleep as long as possible, always in vain. I woke up in weird surroundings, or bound, suspended, under water, whatever. I thought I had seen every sadistic situation.
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