I hardly ever drink. It occurred to me right then, and I even said it out loud… ‘The only thing keeping me from being addicted to cocaine is that I’ve never had any.’ I thought about that while I walked back into the living room with my popcorn to finish my movie. I really think it’s right. I am screwed-up in the head, and only the Grace of God comes between me and being dead every day. There’s this song I like that says something about being a preacher’s daughter and not doing what ‘daddy taught her.’ I do everything my Daddy taught me, everything except deal drugs and beat my wives. If I drank often enough, I’d become and alcoholic. If I did try cocaine or heroine, I’d probably be hooked. I’ve cheated so much and lied so much about it that I can’t stop lying. Even while I’m doing it, I think to myself that I want to STOP, and I can’t even stop because I’m so mired down in it all that I couldn’t climb back up, no matter how much I want to. I’m spontaneous to the extreme, and that. If she did get free, she wouldhave to get by me since there wasn't any second story exits.I made sure to be quick as I rinsed the two glasses I had used, both theday before and earlier today, and then filled them two fingers deep withthe amber liquid. In one I placed a large square ice cube from acontainer designed to make ice that cools the liquor without diluting ittoo much. Having done all of this in a quick few minutes, I made my wayback.Sure enough, having gotten back, I found nothing out of the usual. Hereyes were still downcast and I figured that she was finally truly comingto terms with her situation."One brandy on the rocks for the lady," I said taking a seat on the bedwith both drinks in hand.She just squinted and grimaced angrily in response, But took a sipregardless as I raised the glass to her lips. I was sure to paceourselves, taking time between drinks to properly enjoy it."So, why do you want to be a man," she finally asked after fifteenminutes of semi-comfortable.
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