How I sit is important, as is the uniform I wear. I wear a patterned blouse with a plain tabard. My skirt is unfashionably full, calf-length and candy striped. I wear black pantyhose or stockings with sensible black shoes. The skirt is designed so that no matter how far a shop assistant has to reach up or down nothing could possibly be revealed. Malcolm came into the shop about an hour before we closed. He waited until I had no customers before approaching me. ‘Hello, Elaine,’ He said. ‘How are you?’ ‘OK, thank you, Malcolm,’ I replied, ‘but you didn’t come here just to say ‘Hello’, did you?’ ‘No…’ ‘I’m still thinking about it.’ ‘What could I do to convince you that I’m serious about you?’ Malcolm asked. That’s when I had this brilliant or stupid, depends on your point of view, idea. I would set him a challenge. Now. ‘You could go down on me. Here and now.’ ‘Here?’ ‘Yes. Here. Now. You could slide under my desk, hide under my skirt and…’ ‘I’ll do it. Quick. While there’s no one. Hutchinson: I apologize for the delay in responding to your recent messages. The press of business and a spate of bad health have put me behind on a number of matters. I am sure that your precocious young granddaughter will be pleased to learn that the answers she seeks about Barney and his friends are entirely within her control. Barney comes alive only through the imaginations of children, and is to each child what that child needs him to be at that time in that child’s life. The same is true of BJ and Baby Bop. I’m sure you will enjoy exploring these issues with your granddaughter. Does she think that BJ or Baby Bop is adopted? Perhaps they are step- or half-brother or sister in her imagination, if she is familiar with these relationships. What does she think their parents are like? Where does she imagine they live when they are not with Barney and their human friends? One of our missions is to encourage children to use their imaginations, and I’m sure your granddaughter will.
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