I just do it when I feel horny. I don’t think we should talk about this anymore.”“What’s so wrong in that? We are both adults. And I have never been so open with anyone else. You wanna do it, I wanna do it. So what’s so wrong in that? If you want maybe we can even help each other out”, I said as if it wasn’t a big deal.She looked at me with awe and disbelief. It was as if I said something that should never have been said.“That’s enough talking for tonight”, she said as she stood up. “Go to bed. Goodnight.”She walked off. I thought I had really offended her. I followed her and asked her to stop. She stopped but didn’t face me.“I am sorry if I crossed any limits,” I said.“Mmm. Goodnight.” And she tried to walk.I suddenly held her hand to prevent her from leaving. It wasn’t anything new. We were really close and we usually hugged without any bad intentions. But this time, I felt a spark.“Please, Sumitha. At least face me. I don’t wanna leave things like this. Are you okay?”She turned. At the same time,I was becoming more aware of my own self-identity. It was still a bitfuzzy though so I knew I had to get home to think about it. But when Ithought 'home', the house Gus had lived in wasn't what immediately came tomind. I had somewhere much nicer to go.I drove my nice Lexus out of the parking garage a minute later, feelingsomewhat mixed feelings about driving it. Gus had never driven anythingthis nice yet it felt very familiar, as though I'd been driving it for along time. I even felt a possessiveness and knowledge that it was mind. Athought slipped through my mind that I'd owned this Lexus for about a yearnow.During the drive home, I felt the connection to 'Gus' slip away. I evenlet out a sigh of relief, thankful not to be tied to that boy anymore.Strangely, I no longer thought of myself as 'Gus' or as a boy. In fact,the idea of being either of those seemed distasteful somehow.When I reached my house, I parked in the garage and stepped out of my car.It was a large.
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